A new section to this blog, been in the plan since the beginning, yet I have not deposited to it yet, is my Adoption section. It so needs to be here. I have found through the years of my long adopted life, many just do not ‘get’ adoption. Nor do they appreciate adoption, being adopted, unconditional love, acceptance, tolerance, not being adopted, biological inheritance, family, parents, God’s amazing plan as they should.
Hello, my name is Christy Petty aka Baby Girl G. and I am adopted. I have been adopted all my life. I know no other way of being. Adopted to me means the same thing as right handed, instead of left. Which I am. (My kind of poetry)
Those that are not adopted, don’t get it. There are those who experience it, adopted parents (THE parents) adopted siblings (THE siblings) spouses of and children of adoptees who learn ‘it’ and understand. But those not having adoption in their lives really do not understand, I have experienced this.
I have had people look at me with sorrow filled eyes feeling so sorry that I was a poor orphan. I have had, and still do have some ask me about my ‘real’ parents. I have had my parents referred to as Foster parents, and step parents, by ‘educated’ people who really should not be so ignorant. All of this does not anger me, nor hurt me, it is really out of ignorance, of not ‘getting it’.
I do get a little peeved when I hear comments like, “They don’t have children except those they adopted.” Or “No one can love another child as much as their own blood.” Or “They always had problems with that one, because he/she is adopted.”
The media will report horrendous child parent murders with the description, if it is so, the child was an adopted child. WHY is this a factor?I would bet there are more child/parent murders that involve bio children on bio parents.
So, to start off– don’t feel sorry for me, or any adoptee. Nothing to feel sorry for me, or any adoptee, about. Actually we, I , have been blessed, more than the average bio on bio person.
Let’s look at it. I was conceived, just like anyone else. My father and mother were 15-16. Not like all other parents. But like some. My mother in her young age made actually a very UNselfish decision to not abort. Not like some other mothers. My mother made another UNselfish decision, to give the baby a chance to a normal life. Not like some and like others. My parents, that would adopt me, desired a daughter, and could have no more children, they chose to adopt instead of trying for that 3rd. My parents had hearts that contained unconditional love, that never saw a difference between my brothers, who were biological, and I, other than I was their baby girl they my boy brothers.
These are the easy to see easy to explain in a short posting blessings: Conceived. Young mother being wise and unselfish. Parents desire, and unconditional love.
You see, instead of knowing I was not wanted, I know I was. Instead of thinking they HAVE TO love because I was born to them I know they choose to love me because I wasn’t.
I see other families and I realize not only were my parents amazing unconditional lovers, but my whole family, aunts, uncles cousins, grandparents was exceptional. My family had disfunction issues, as everyone’s does. There was a tilt in the perfect balance always. Power struggle, manipulation, self centered, disobedience, all the normal issues that go on in family relations. BUT never ever were there any times anyone was disowned, shut out, ignored or not spoken to. Never did anyone ever say a disparaging word about another to another to ‘take sides’. We never ‘talked about’ or ostracized siblings, cousins, aunts uncles, cousins spouses,. We did not even disown my sister in law when she divorced my brother. So many families do these things, I hear too often of someone having not spoken to sibling, parents, children because they just don’t like em, or they did something embarrassing or…. Never has it been a real good reason, to me.
Never ever has there ever been a time I did not feel as if I was one of ‘them’. If my adoption is ever raised, it is only when I mention something ‘adoption’ and a family member ‘remembers’ my being so. Never have I feared being dissed by my family. I know we are all a family of great character, and wonder if only these type of people can be adopters. I think so. I know if you are the ‘other’ conditional lover kind it would be very very hard to be real good, or good real parent to an adopted child.